Monday, June 1

Little You & I...

I can't get back to sleep. Decided to type some things in the word processor, but that only jolted me a little more.

I'm looking forward to my Tuesday off. I'm going to hole up in the library all day and study for my chem. test---well, I'm mostly going to be goofing off, but I'll at least be in my favorite spot.

Somethings just amaze me, like the fact that I was once a little girl. Where did that little girl go?

This shouldn't surprise me so much. I've been acting rather childish lately, so I guess she's still here, to an extent.

But that little was just so amazing. She was so happy. She was alone, mostly, but she was still so happy.

Today, I'd like to be happy. I've made the decision, lying sleepless for hours. Today, I'd like to be happy.

It'll be a funny day. It'll be amusing trying to function without any sleep.

You ask me who the you I am always mentioning could be, and I can't answer you. This you is bigger than the us that has made up this conversation or the facts and speculations that lead you to this question, even. This you is certainly bigger than me.

My second person love affair isn't anything personal----because I write to you, my muse, my lover, my friend, my bloodline. For you.

This is the you that sits on white benches with me on rainy days, this is the you with warm palms and an outstretched heart, this is a vindictive you, a playful you, a you of old and young and innocence and recklessness, a you who seeks glory and love and passion. This you is matched with every other part of me.

Now my darling, my friend, be well.

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