Thursday, April 30
I'm Not Just A Song Anymore.
Monday's exams will officially end my first year of college.
Those words taste strange as they pass my lips. I'll be done with my first year of college.
It was never a question of whether or not I'd get here. There was actually no questions about it. It was simply assumed that I'd pursue my higher education and excel.
I excel at what this system needs me to do. None of this has made me a better person. None of this has made me happier. I am here and you are there. We are separated by walls of ideology.
Believe me when I say, liberation is painful. You hurt for your freedom.
bell hooks wrote that students are unwilling to accept progressive pedagogy because it asks them to question and reexamine the very foundations of everything they've ever learned and trusted.
But it is what is necessary.
You and I changing is what is necessary.
Post-secondary education is a business---a heart breaking truth, but a truth all the same. We are the consumers. We ought to control the education we, as the consumers, are purchasing. Rise up, my fellow comrades! Rise!
Take back your learning. Take back control. You are not mindless. You are not menial.
Universities, give us what we want. Give us what we need. Give us what we deserve.
No more of this dismal sham where we are trained to be clogs in a fucking machine. No. We deserve so much more.
I feel really old and severely unaccomplished. I'm pushing nineteen, dammit! I'm going to die soon. Well, at least my spirit is going to die soon, leaving me with this useless sac of flesh that ain't got no soul, ain't got no stank.
I've done less of what I love this year and that bothers me so much. This summer, I'm going to get my ass to those open mic nights and I'm going to beast it with my edgerous poems. I'm going to share my love and hate and in betweens with anyone who'll listen.
I want to meet new people. I want to fall in love them all. I also want to hate them, a lot.
Secretly, I'm stressing out about finals. I don't really think I have to, but I'm a creature of habit. So, I will.
P.S. Stop drinking the pool water.