Ummm...I really should post something here. It's almost mid-march. Sorry.
I'm trying to suppress my darker thoughts, especially since it seems to scare people. It's just, I wouldn't really mind not living at this point. It doesn't seem very important. ha. Some would argue that it's all that actually matters, but I'm not truly living anyway, so it doesn't.
I think this is what happens when people lose their faith. They have nothing to live for and everything becomes trivial and meaningless. Then again, I've always felt that the things we do are trivial and meaningless, right from the start.
I don't want a plan for my life. I don't want to think about the future. I don't want all this stuff.
I just want to wake up in the mornings and take it one day at a time. I want to drink in the moments that'll never come again. I just want to love and be loved, more than anything else.
I wonder if that makes me brave or a coward? I dunno.
P.S. I know you think I'm crazy. Sorry.
P.P.S. Actually, I can't apologize for who I am anymore, so...no. I'm not.