Sunday, September 14
I've realized that I'll never feel what I ought to feel for God. Prayers and fasting are all useless to me---mechanical motions I force myself to go through.
Where is the heart in it? Where is the blind faith?
I wish I could get the satisfaction that I see all those around me have. I wish that God would purify my soul, my thoughts---me. I wish he would chose to guide me to piety.
Then I wouldn't feel so guilty and hedonistic.
Or bloated. But I think that has more to do with Taco Bell then Mr. Divine, Himself.