Friday, August 29

Rebirth of a Bedroom Floor...

Yes, miracles are possible.

I'm officially a college student. How exciting...or not. It's all pretty much the same nonsense----it's just all a lot more expensive.

It’s hard, trying to forget all the nonsense from last year. I’m trying though----if that counts for anything.

I have every intention of working diligently, getting involved, and somehow finding my way to a top medical school; but I want to put my heart in it. If I could just manage to put an ounce as much passion into this as I have for writing, then nothing can stop me. I’ve just got to find it… somehow.

I feel awful for saying this, but not being able to go to SLC still burns inside. I know it’ll be one of my greatest regrets in life and that I’ll always feel a sting of cruel injustice. Whatever happened to ‘if you want something bad enough, the entire universe conspires for it to happen’?

Way to fuck up, oh Great Cosmos. You’ve conspired for the wrong people, you rotten fiends!

It doesn’t help matters that my days are wasted at UCF--- god knows I won’t ever fit in. It isn’t my place.

But then again, it’s been eighteen years and I’ve yet to find my ‘place’. I’d say it’s about time I settled for something, anything at all.

It just hurts---- knowing that I’ll never know.

Enough, though. I think it’s time to say enough.